poniedziałek, 28 czerwca 2010


I'll never be an emo vampire, Setting tweenaged loins on fire.
I've got nothing in common with the vampires of today.
They gaze at girls and pout and brood and then just run away.
This Twilight hack thinks she can come along and change the vampire rules.
I guess sleeping in coffins and wearing capes, suddenly isn't cool.
Girls won't climb up trees with me or canoodle in the grass.
And when I play vampire baseball, I always get picked last.
Oh come on! Seriously dudes. That's a human you just picked over me.
I've seduced all kinds of women from all over the world.
But, now the only dates I get are with chunky gothic girls.
When did all these vampires become abstinent and whiny?
When I walk into the sun, I don't get all bright and shiny.
Vampires don't have purity rings, like undead Jonas Brothers.
If I can't score with these high school girls, perhaps I'll go for their mothers.
Why not? When you're 600 years old, there's no such thing as a cougar.
I'll never be an emo vampire, Setting tweenaged loins on fire.
I'll have no participation, in this vampire pussification.
So wake me up when the world grows a pair of. . . . fangs.
You thought I was going to say balls didn't you?

Brak komentarzy:

Prześlij komentarz